Tuesday, August 9, 2011

"That" Person

Speaking of technology, let's talk about "that" person.  You know who they are.

The person who you call and instead of answering, responds in a text message, asking, "What's up? You called?"
Um, yes, to talk to you dumb ass.
I will even one up that.
WHEN, has it become o.k to do the following via text:
1. Break up with some one
2. Tell them someone has died
3. I'm going to be late for work or not coming in
4. Boss: "ur not @ work. i see you right now"
5. You are fired.
6. I'm divorcing you.
7. I am pregnant
8. It's not mine
9. I'm in love with you
10. I really enjoyed "last night."

lol. Seriously though, besides being a straight punk...what is it that makes people feel like this is acceptable?

Because you can actually think about what you're going to say? Hand craft the perfect excuse, lie or truth without immediate consequence? Hand them a telephone, and they will say something stupid into it. Hand them a telephone with someone they like on the other end, and they will say something really stupid? With a text, you can plan, and yes, even revise.

Are phone calls just painfully awkward?

Even if you have perfect elocution, a great speaking voice, and fantastic oratorical skills, factors such as poor cell-phone reception or other interruptions (another call, an ambulance driving by, a barking dog) can lead to uncomfortable interruptions. There's nothing worse than speaking to someone on the phone for the first time and having to continually say "Wait--what? Sorry, can you hear me? Wait, hold on, walking by construction site..." over and over.
If the these things are an issue...THEN WAIT!Is it because you think a good text message will say a lot about a you? A perfect text message requires wit, brevity, and flirtation. A good texter is smart, sharp, and good with words. I am still working on the brevity. Additionally, someone who uses unnecessary text abbreviations, or, god help them, emoticons is immediately ruled out as a potential anything.

Maybe, because texting can be great foreplay? It's a prolonged flirtation that can span the course of the week or day leading up to a date. You better live up to the standards you have put forth buddy if you think there is nothing sexy about a perfunctory "let's set up a date" call. Sure, a text is "to the point", and on a purely utilitarian level more efficient than calling when it comes to making plans. But are you really looking for "efficiency" in your dating life? The auditory satisfaction one gets from another asking for their time is attractive.

Perhaps, you are you too shy and a text lets you write what you're too shy to say. Sometimes, especially during the early stages of dating, it can be hard to straight out say the things you're feeling, especially if you're unsure of how it will be reciprocated. A "You looked beautiful last night" or "I had an amazing time with you" the next morning is a safe (and always appreciated!) way of doing this. Safe is boring!! Take a risk! Grow some cojones!! (Balls;P )

Remember, a text is forever and that goes both ways. I can get an excellently crafted text and I will save that thing forever. Just the same if I get a messed up text (argument) I can keep it and bring up "the proof" ;)

At least there are no phone transcripts and you can always say, "I didn't say that. You must have misunderstood." lol

So, yes pick up the phone, but call - instead. If you have something really messed up to say, be prepared to be hung up on. lol